How applying goal-setting techniques to life can bring us personal happiness
We’re a nation that loves making lists whether it’s for shopping, work or Christmas, but what about making a list of goals you want to accomplish in your life over the next 5 years? Dr Gian Gonzaga, relationship scientist at eHarmony.co.uk explains how a ‘life list’ can even help you find a fulfilling relationship…
We’re a nation that loves making lists whether it’s for shopping, work or Christmas, but what about making a list of goals you want to accomplish in your life over the next 5 years? Dr Gian Gonzaga, relationship scientist at eHarmony.co.uk explains how a ‘life list’ can even help you find a fulfilling relationship… In our busy day-to-day lives it’s easy for dreams to be swept aside by responsibilities and routines that create a divide between life lived and a life longed for. Making a list of life goals is a simple and effective way to motivate you in life and love. The list can include anything from organising a new savings account to learning a language or booking that dream holiday.
It’s important not to neglect relationship goals within your list of future achievements. Stating your desire to find a new relationship if you’re single, or setting ‘relationship milestones’ – for example realising that you would like to start planning a family if you’re in a relationship and plotting milestones towards this – will give you the focus and drive to achieve what you really want.
eHarmony.co.uk’s relationship scientist, Dr Gian Gonzaga, says: “The act of writing down a list of things we want to achieve is surprisingly motivating, and it reminds us to make time for things that are important to us in life.
It’s tempting to write a long list of exciting places to go and new things to do, but don’t forget achievements in your personal life as well. Seeing your relationship goals down on paper can spur you on to taking that first step to making them happen – perhaps through joining a club to meet someone new, or signing up to internet dating.”
Dr Gonzaga suggests two simple steps to getting your ‘life list’ together:
1 – Make a list of what you want. It may sound simple, but making a list of what you want in life can be the most difficult step to change. Be as specific as possible. If you want to get into shape, what would success be for you? Is it an 8-minute mile, or to get into your “skinny” jeans?
2 – Break it down into smaller steps. Bigger goals and dreams rarely happen overnight, even though it can sometimes look that way. So break down your big goals and your chosen options on how to achieve them into small mini-goals. For those who need the smaller steps to stay focused, revisit your list regularly to stay on track.
To inspire you, here are the most common goals people set themselves:
1) Spend more Time with Family and Friends.
It’s time to resolve to spend more time with the people you love. Even if you can only set aside one day a month to reconnect with them, get that date on your calendar well in advance. If money is an issue, have your family and friends over to your house for a board game night, an X-Factor night in, or organise after-work drinks. If they don’t live close by, try choosing a specific day and time each week that you can catch up with a 15-minute phone-call to stay connected and in the loop.
2) Learn Something New
Challenge your mind and resolve to learn something new this year. Whether you decide to take up a new course at college or you sign up for a workshop, it’s time to break out of your comfort zone. Depending on what you’re learning you could even meet new and interesting people, which will broaden your social and perhaps romantic options.
3) This Year, Truly Enjoy Life
Focus on what you can change and what is in your control because everything else is a waste of energy. Find your passion, whether it’s a new hobby, volunteering or a career change. Remember the old adage; life is short, focus on making a life for yourself that you can enjoy.
4) Help Others
Give what you can, whether it’s your time as a volunteer or mentor or your financial resources. Perhaps your resolution to help others will include doing a small act of kindness each month, such as going grocery shopping for an elderly neighbor, delivering a home cooked meal to a new mum or tutoring a child. Helping others makes you feel good about yourself, which potential suitors are sure to see shine through.
5) Be the Person you Want to Attract
When you’re looking for that special person, make a list of qualities you want him/her to have. Once you’re done then let him become the part in parcel of what you need and what you’re looking for. For further information on relationships and love, please visiteharmony.
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