4 Tips for Planning Your Second Wedding
When we were younger, dreaming of our fantastic future, we never expected this. We would meet the person of our dreams and that would be that. But this is reality, and life isn’t a fairytale. Let’s be honest: Many of us will have a second wedding.
And that’s fine! It’s now such a common occurrence that, really, nobody who matters to you will even think twice. No matter why you will be walking down the aisle another time, the day will be special, filled with love and feature the most important people in your life. Really, nothing about it should be all that different from the first time — except for the happily ever after part.
Nevertheless, the planning and details will likely go better if you make a few changes. They don’t even have to be major. But just by implementing the following tweaks and adapting your mentality a little bit before the big day, your second celebration is sure to be even better.
1. Scale Back: Think Intimacy over Extravaganza
Some people think they need to invite everybody they know and spend a ton on a second wedding. This is a reasonable (first) reaction. If you scale back, there is a fear that this wedding might be viewed as less important. But that is not the case at all. Instead, make the day a more humble, intimate affair.
At this stage of your life, you should have more perspective on what fulfillment is all about. For most people, that doesn’t mean having the most expensive wine at a party, how many third cousins are invited, or the exact, exclusive location they pledge their vows. At the end of the day, it should be about the vows you say and who you say them to.
2. Practical Priorities: Safeguard Your Financial Future
Along similar lines, remember that financial disagreements are among the leading causes of divorce. Even if that wasn’t what tripped you up last time, understand that setting back your bank account on Day 1 is not prudent.
This doesn’t mean you have to cheap out, but it does mean thinking about future mortgage payments more than keeping up with the Joneses. As much as you will tempted to splurge on the bells and whistles, think about this day more as the beginning of your new life and not as some blowout event. This wedding should be for you and your future — not to impress friends and family.
3. Pomp and Circumstance: Drop the Formalities
Certain families will always have rigid expectations for marriage ceremonies, so this piece of advice may not be truly universal. But, in general, you should cut out some of the more staid and stuffy aspects of a second wedding.
This trend is taking hold even for first weddings, honestly, so you should consider going with a more understated wedding invitation, keep the reception more casual, and suggest that those doing a toast keep it a bit more light and breezy.
4. Righting Wrongs: Correct a Nagging Mistake
Was there some element of your first wedding that still irks you to this day? Almost everybody has one thing they would do over if possible. Well, congratulations: This is the time to make it right. Whether it was going with a DJ instead of a band, buffet over table service, indoor vs. outdoor, or any other choice you now regret, look at a second wedding as a second chance to get the details right.
Another Go ‘Round
Whether due to death, divorce or some other circumstance, there will likely be some sadness in your past if you’re having a second wedding. But you should never see this glorious event through that lens. Look at this as a new start and the day when your future starts anew.
That said, there are some differences. Choose intimacy over glamour, put financial security before luxury, go casual rather than stuffy, and pick one annoyance to do over.
Ultimately, as long as you have the right person by your side, none of the trivial details will matter, anyway. So keep it simple, don’t stress about the small stuff, and make sure the two most important people — you and your partner — have a smile on their face all day long.
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